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Archive for May, 2011

Takin’ the Retards to the Zoo

Yeah, just when you thought I was lost and gone forever…. I’M BACK… LA PUTA MADRE!

After a 2 year hiatus —and let me just say, my how time flies…. I am back and more fucked up than ever, all for your little viewing pleasure.  Oh I suppose its the little narcissist that is poking at your eyeballs screaming READ ME because honestly folks, I AM THAT IMPORTANT!

So whats been going on the last couple of years since I dropped of the radar. Eh, the same pretty much. Still vegan, still a fitness freak, still overtly obsessed with my aging body and contradicting gluttonous ways… Yeah, I am still mental.

School came to a close, but somehow I have managed to drag out my degree until the end of the year because I am attempting to get my residency which is a much as nightmare as  anything that requires bureaucratic paperwork in this godforsaken country.  Although to be honest, its not Spain I am having problems with at the moment, its the good ol’ US of Assholes.  Three  times  I have sent my fingerprints to the FBI.. (Freaking Bukakke  Institute) Not one, not two, but three times and those idiots STILL cannot read them. Yes, American citizens around the world, this is who we have protecting us. These are OUR sharp shooters. The only thing these idiots can fire is a load of reject sperm that contributes to the annihilation of any kind of human intelligence. These assholes are providing our future generations with prize winners. That’s right folks! We are referring to  proper WALMART education… handguns, MTV and Battlefield 3.  As it turns out I am just going to have to chop off my fingers and mail them in order to have my fingerprints read. I have until the end of summer more or less to get this resolved, otherwise I dunno what the hell I am gonna do. My student visa will expire in December — I have a job, and currently I have options so we’ll see…

(Dont be a retard click on the link)

Takin’ Retards To The Zoo

Otherwise all is well. I moved into the center of the city in a pretty dope house. It can get a little off the hook around here. For instance the other night, or to some the wee early AM hours I was sleeping (in the buff, cuz thats how I do) when I woke up with my lights on, door wide open and some jackal walking outta my bathroom.  I was like.. hey jackass… What the hell are you doing in here?

As it turns out, my room happens to be located directly to the right hand side of my front door.  I am such a lucky girl because the light to my room is located on the outside of my door, rather than on the inside of my room.  Oh these Spanish architects; they really think things through.   This means that every drunk idiot who passes by, feels the urge to turn on the switch.  I am so lucky.  Although, I really can’t blame them as they could easily fall down the pitch black, flight of stairs that lies ahead of them; then again….

Alright — for now that’s a rap… loads to bitch about but a girls gotta take a rest, pee and pack for Milan. Yeah, I am headed to Milan for Doomsday. I will be hiking in the mountains in the Lombardi National Forest. I am hoping I will be safe from all of the idiots who really think the world is gonna end.